Another New Year

As we begin 2015, I have a feeling that this year I will stop waiting and start living. It is the little things that are the most meaningful and I think that I have learned to value and recognize that throughout 2014. Although my previous year had been uneventful and I spent the entire year unemployed and trying to get over myself, it has been a good year. I had the opportunity to connect with my family and get in touch with some old friends. However, during this process I had also hid myself from the world and felt a lack of accomplishments.

Now as we are in the new year, I feel myself a eager to get back up and live again. I'm not really sure what I will end up doing, but I do know the things that drive me and have learned some strategies on how to keep my life on track. One of the things is getting back in touch with society.

Today was a big step, I have gone to my cousin/nephew's house and spent my sunday there during the afternoon. During that time I also stopped by a friend's place down the block from there. It was definitely nice to be out of the apartment and spending time with friends and family.

Growing Up

We all grow up so fast. Yet in the moment we don't realize it. As children, the world is full of wonder. As we grow into adulthood the world is full of opportunities. But has we get older, we start to realize that our time in this world is limited and we start to grow blind of the opportunities around us. We give up our dreams and live life as predictable as we can. Eventually we forget what our dreams are and we live watching the people around us grow.

I remember when traveling use to open up my world. I enjoyed meeting new people and would be sad when I have to leave them. I would be inspired seeing and learning new things.

Why is it that the lights of our dreams starts to dim out as we age? I remember that when I was young, I believed that I would not let that happen to me, and that I will always remember that the world is full of opportunities and I should never be afraid of change. But for the past several years, I have been living in my thoughts, and hesitate at the opportunities of change. The more I think, the less I achieve. I realize that I spend most of my time, just thinking and weighing all my options, but at the end of the day, I achieve nothing. It's time that I create the bucket list for the next part of my life.

Work...

I'm tired... really tired... I wonder when this feeling is ever going to stop.

I remember when I was at Wal-mart one time when the guy who was in line in front of me said to the cashier, " you will always be tired for the rest of your life, the question is how much." That had really stuck to me and I never forgot that comment.

Now and Later

The computer is an alternative window to the outside world. It gives people the option to live their lives through the acted lives of people on screen and also gives them the ability to obtain information faster than ever before. Sometimes I look at this window as an escape for a better life and in return taking for granted the life that I have and the world around me.

I find my life to stressful to face at times and sometimes so overwhelming that I could barely breath. I am very tired of running on this treadmill of life that doesn't stop. Sometimes I wish that I could just jump off and take a break but life doesn't work like that. It keeps going no matter what.

School is about the start again and as I had anticipated the summer has flown by like a flash. I have to keep in mind for this year that teaching is not my life and life doesn't stop because work starts. I need to try my best to keep living. I need to learn to deal with the things that stresses me out and make the most of my every day because I only get this year once then I have to move on to the next. That is the beauty and the pain of life. Things come and go just like time come and passes. The most we can do is make the most out of it.

Moving Forward

You've got to learn to move on from the past. People make mistakes but they have to learn to forgive themselves for it. Sometimes in life, without mistakes there will be no change. If we have people living in regret then nothing will get accomplished. You have to realize what your mistake is and move forward from there. Moping in it will not change anything.

Learn to take care of the people around you and learn to give love to as many people as possible. Know what you live for and why you do the things you do. It is important to live life with a purpose. If you don't know your purpose, then take action to find it. Eventually, you will find the thing that drives you to become who you are really meant to be.

Drive right through...

Teaching is such an exhausting job. I really don't know how much longer I can put up with it. After work, people normally like to go home and relax. But for teachers, you are stress throughout the day and then sent home with a stack of papers to grade. Somehow the work just never ends. On top of the grading, there is also the planning and the prepping. Then as if that wasn't enough, you still have to analyze the data that you have so then you can better plan and teach. I wonder if there is a easier way.

I keep reminding myself to keep it simple yet meaningful but I am having trouble doing that. My attempt to simplicity has lead to more stress. I have also encountered issues with my processes and don't ever feel like I am doing a good enough job. It really sucks because it never feels like you are doing enough but you're also tired and exhausted all the time.

Thank You

Thank you god for blessing me with such great people around me. When I am about the fall apart they all come together. Somehow beyond all the chaos in my life there is that subtle sweetness. Sometimes it's important and take a step back to see the things that are important in our lives.

It is truly interesting how the world works in such balance. When one thing collapses another will pick up. We all serve some shape, purpose, and form. However, when there is too much greed and lack of love, the balance will be compromised. But beyond all the imperfections of the world, over time, balance will return. People eventually overcome their flaws and see what is going on.

The world is like a giant wave, one followed by the other.

In my heart and soul, I will attempt my best to follow the flow and maintain my balance. It is very difficult sometimes and oftentimes we will be knocked off balance. I hope that you will help guide me along the way. Please send me some guidance.