It's been a year since my last posting here. A year has gone and past like nothing. Just like the past three years has gone by and I feel as if I have accomplished nothing in life. I was once ambitious, bright eyed and bushy tailed feeling in control of my future and my life. I don't quite know when I lost it. Now my happiness is based on the people around me. My happiness and fulfillment relies on their company, their presence, and their lives. In a sense I have lost my own life and got lost in the lives of those around me.
For the past year, so many people have come in and out of my life often times one after another and somehow in a rotational bases. My sisters Maggie, Cindy, Elaine. My friends Mike, Anthony, Rhonny, Vincent. Then the new people I meet of course. I can't really count how many times I got my hopes up then my heart broken once again. Feeling sad, lonely and depressed again.
So here I am, back to square one. Just when I thought that life was going to be different this time and things are going to change. I am back to where I am. Seeking meaning and happiness. All in all, I guess the point is that I must find my own life. But doesn't the people around you make up the meaning to your life? So what meaning can I find on my own?
Where do I start? What do I do? And me meet again... me, myself, and I...
At the end, I am alone, once again.
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